When enough people ask me about a subject or problem, I surmise that it is time to write an article or two on the subject. This one seems epidemic, so let's turn it over and examine it. Then, perhaps, we can figure out what to do with it.
This form of emotion, love, has many facets and far- reaching ramifications and affects the lives and emotional states of humanity more than just about anything else. Love can become the highest form of interaction between humans or the lowest, depending upon the perception of participating individuals. Whole books could be written on the subject, but here we shall only deal the most basic concepts. It would be of value to study and understand the various aspects before entering into any relationship just so as to understand the ground rules. "When there is only one waterhole, it is best not to muddy the water, as we may have to drink it soon."
Today, it is pretty safe to say that there is often something very wrong with societal concepts of just what a love relationship is and what should be. More often than not, events of the past are carried over into new relationships, condemning them to future chaos and ruin, no matter how hard the new partners try to create harmony and make concessions. There is only so much that can be endured, and when that point of saturation occurs, outlooks change, teeth grit, and the process of ruination commences. Under such circumstances, the stature of lover quickly changes to that of adversary.
Therefore, the reason and purpose of this article is to prompt people to think in a positive manner and consider their options, concerning current and future love relationships into which they might continue or enter. This will be most necessary if individuals ever expect to remain or become successful couples. Consider the possibility that we create our own realities by our words, actions and reactions. There are people who literally talk themselves out of their relationships while the vitriol of others quickly seals their fates. "Words, like seeds, once cast upon the wind are impossible to retrieve." We can apologize and take them back all we want, but the effects upon our partners remain, and their perception of us is forever marred. Once begun, the process of emotional scarring continues and deepens with every affront.
Stronger yet are the effects of our actions and reactions as they become the "face" we show to our partners. If we adopt an antagonistic, defensive or wavering posture, we will convey our aberration to our mates and further affect their perception of us, perhaps causing them to distance themselves from us- sometimes on a permanent basis.
Who the Hell needs chaos in their life? Take it to heart! Tell everyone that your father beat you, your ex-spouses beat you, and your dog bit you after being rolled in the parking lot of the supermarket. Go ahead! What you are really conveying is the fact that you consider yourself a victim, and that you have created a negative reality for yourself. Too, you are telling people that you expect the same treatment from any partner and will be disappointed if you don't get it. Even if such treatment was never considered and never comes, you will blame your partner for it anyway. They are damned if they do and damned if they don't!
Right! Tell everyone that all of your ex-spouses were drunks and reveled in cheating on you. Woah, stop and think! Why would they do that? Ask some baseline questions of yourself... Did you have anything to do with their negative reactions or displays? No, of course not-- right! I believe anything-- tell me that you moved the Earth. Which way did you move it?
Yes, tell everyone that you have everything just the way you want it and don't need anyone else. Right! You've got a job that keeps you hyper, a house with three-hundred and seventy-seven more payments that needs a paint job and a fresh roof, an automobile now worth about 80 percent of what you owe on it and an empty refrigerator. Who is kidding who? It is time to do some serious thinking. In simpler times, people came together not only because they needed each other, but for basic survival reasons. Two can survive where one can't. That is still true today, but people don't want to admit the ancient truth. They want to be "cool," and that entails being self sufficient. They would rather starve than not be cool. Well, suit yourself, but remember there is only one sin, and that is stupidity...
Consider what you want, need and expect from your future relationships, even to the point of asking yourself, "Do I really want another relationship?" Yes, there is another side to the coin. Hey, guess what, a lot of people don't. They may be in denial and refuse to admit that they have had enough, but none the less, this common possibility bears consideration. Often, such people in later life have been alone for a time, divorced or widowed, are settled in, have homes and all they need without putting up with someone encroaching upon their life. Somewhere, deep down inside, they actually resent the close presence of another person and don't want to put up with them.
This is aberrant thinking running wild, however, at odd times, these people will get wistful or lonely and decide to try again on a whim, but when they finally find a potential partner, and begin to draw close to them or the other way around, they wake up and realize, that they don't really want to become entangled with another person at all. That's when the back peddling begins. So, mostly their life is filled with brief encounters and will continue so until they totally lose their looks, and then the reality that they have no one will set in like a bloody nose.
Relationships, by necessity are give and take propositions. If a person is not willing to give and take or they are afraid to give or take, then they had best reconsider their options. The fact is that many people, whether or not they realize it, don't want another relationship and use various ploys or excuses to avoid enduring one even though they won't admit the fact to themselves or anyone else.
True, love relationships can produce mixed emotions, but it might be well to ponder the subject in the hope of finding balance or at least emotional peace. Let's take a look at our roots and try to understand what it's all about.
Maternal love dates clear back to the time of lizards and is wholly instinctual. It is the basic love of a mother for her young. Crocodiles, ugly as they are, are prime, continuing examples of this phenomena.
Now we learn, according to the latest discoveries of scientists, that dinosaurs were very likely warm blooded and formed strong family or even herd relationships and cared tenderly for their young. The Duckbills are a prime example of this postulation.
Even Tyrannosaurus Rex mothers guarded their nest and more often than not went without eating for some two months just to perform their matriarchal duties. Then, once their chicks were hatched, T-Rex mothers would hunt for and then feed their young until they were strong enough to hunt for themselves.
Apparently, some of the dinosaurs evolved into birds, and are still subject to the same nesting instincts today. But it wasn't until the appearance of furry mammals that true warm, fuzzy affection for mates and long term family or tribal ties became widespread.
This type of emotion is a function of the mammalian brain which continues on today in humanity. There is something about curling up with a warm mate that is quite satisfying, and few will deny that fact- it's hard to fight instinct.
However, the more intelligent and logical we become, the further away from our natural instincts do we move. That is why we say that in many ways, our ancestors were greater then we, because many of us have lost something of our humanity and our spiritual link with the All. Many people today have to grab a computer to figure out simple answers the like of which, our forebears simply had the knowing. Let us look at a little simple biology...
Human brains are constructed in layers relative to the progression of our evolution. At the base of our skulls exists the old lizard brain, the Medulla Oblongata, a little rudimentary brain that harbors basic instinct and controls bodily processes like breathing and blood flow. Its more advanced functions include the regulation of feeding, temperature control and reaction to danger- feet, don't fail me now! Too, it is responsible for raw aggression or defensive postures and controls endocrine or glandular secretions like those of adrenaline, estrogen or testosterone.
Next, superimposed over the lizard brain is the mammalian or deer brain which is the seat of our emotional center from which emanates our warm, fuzzy feelings of affection and love and need for family interaction which spurs us on to raise our children to adulthood instead of just feeding them until they grow large enough to hunt for themselves. This mammal brain nests in proximity to the Pineal Gland from which emanates our psychic sense and is the seat of the knowing. It has been called the "third eye".
Mostly, in today's humans, the function of the Pineal Gland has been ignored so long that except for occasional flashes of activity, it sleeps. Of course, much of the function of the mammalian brain is ignored too. That is why some people are so cold. They have bypassed or suppressed their mammalian brain and their third eye to the point where they are nothing more than smart lizards. These people are emotionally stunted, and they have no more idea of what other people are thinking or feeling than a piece of cheese. Neither do they care.
Last, superimposed over these basic evolutionary brains are the high-level components of our brains which make us human-- the cerebral cortex, the frontal lobe and the attendant centers such as speech, sight, hearing, tactile and of course the recently discovered, "God Spot" from which we receive our spiritual feelings and inclinations.
Often, it is these higher function centers that cause us problems with our relationships, sending us mixed signals, that override the simpler instinctual functions of our basic brains. The more intelligent humanity becomes, the more suppressive we become. We do not wish to reveal our basic needs and often ignore and bury them until they cease to bother us-- smart lizards!
On the other hand, science says that we are the product of all that has ever happened to us. This condition is known as the Gestalt effect among psychologists. Naturally, various individuals receive somewhat different input and experience, so that fact accounts for the variations in our natures and variances in our reactions to our several realities.
We are all different, but not all that different as societal pressures and trends tend to shape us into similar creatures except for certain personal differences, of course. This is to say that we are learners who later do and teach, spreading our learning to others of our kind. We do that through our daily interaction with one another.
Every time we have a love experience of any sort, it teaches us lessons either positive or negative. Later, we may very well teach our learned lessons to others who cross our paths. Should our lessons be of a negative nature, then we may very well spread those ill-conceived lessons along with, perhaps, vengeful reactions to our future partners, causing them much discomfort which they may or may not deserve. The only consistency of this sad condition is being left alone- again- another failure. This sort of action and reaction can become pyramidal in time, corroding the emotional fabric of our culture, and in the end, doing great damage to all concerned.
The important thing is to find your self worth and esteem within yourself. We are never responsible for the actions, failures, or changeability of another person. You will learn that most people's allegiances and affections change with the wind, and that it's not your fault. Most will get tired of anyone and move on, as that is their nature. Hell, even Elvis or Marilyn Monroe couldn't keep their lovers. The fancier people get, the more changeable they become.
My best advice is to keep 95 percent of your heart for yourself and gambol with the other 5 percent. Oh yeah, be sure to keep on recycling that 5 percent.
Everyone wants to be right, and individual opinion counts for more than anyone else's, however, there comes a day, when a person must come to grips with themselves or suffer continued rejection and loss. There are a lot of questions to be asked, none of them all that much fun, but if we want to change things for the better, we need to ask them and then deal with the answers.
The easiest way of doing this is to read and study the Scrolls and implement their teachings into your life. As the Scrolls teach, habits may be implemented or discarded in as little as thirty days once you know what they are.
The scrolls will help you understand. If you really seek positive change in your life, begin to study the Scrolls and practice the lessons. In a very short time, you will experience marked differences in your life and social condition. Yes, before you know it, you can become quite a different person, free of the specters that have haunted you for so long.
