Dear Nate:
What is a Satanist? Why, my dear, a Satanist is someone who has had just about enough silliness from people and is no longer ready to turn the other cheek. A Satanist is also someone who is fed up with the lying compost that is fobbed off on them by the media, the government, the church, their family and the bartender who watered down their drinks last Saturday night. Too, a Satanist is someone who, perhaps, used to trust God and the "Heavenly Family," but consequently has been screwed over enough to want revenge for malpractice. Either that or they were always smart enough to see through the rather thin facade of society in general and therefore always took measures to keep its fools and fabrications at bay.
But that's not all, a Satanist is a free thinker, a realist and somewhat of a philosopher who has at last come to their senses and realizes the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness can only be available to those who can and do cast off the limitations of the emotionally challenged. Yes, a Satanist is one who has quickly turned around and mashed the fingers of the bogeyman as he tried to crawl out from under their bed.
Am I a Satanist? You most certainly are a Satanist whether you want to believe it or not. If you have ever disobeyed authority or even been slow in jumping through the hoop when authority spoke, you are a Satanist and an adversary of those in power.
My neighbor really angers me, and sometimes, I want to slap her around. If you want to take revenge for something someone else has done to you, then you are a Satanist. (Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.) It's only a matter of time...
I know that I should call My Mother and Father at least once a week, but I always find an excuse to avoid doing so. Is that wrong? It depends on your philosophy. God says, "Honor your Father and Mother." A Satanist says, "Kiss off!" and makes no excuses for his/her decision. Tell them to get a life!
Do Satanists make living sacrifices at their rituals? No. The sacrificing of various individuals, including children and animals is looked upon with great disdain by Satanists who rightly believe that only weak, ineffectual individuals who lack the ability to generate enough energy on their own would stoop to steal it from another individual.
I want to be a Satanist, what should I do? You don't have to do anything. You are already a Satanist. Just come out of the closet and start enjoying life. Live each day to the fullest, take responsibility for your own actions, and grow in stature.
If I don't suck up to Jesus, will I go to Hell? Of course you will, my dear, but then you are going to Hell anyway-- so what? Remember, Hell is only a "bad place" to those who drop in uninvited, unannounced or for those who are foisted upon the management like a puppy who has shit upon the carpet!
If I become a Satanist will I still go to Heaven? NO, the "Heaven" to which you are no doubt referring , is a more or less a work camp, presided over by the establishment for their benefit not yours. They figure that you have arrived there by a lifetime of servitude, and they are not going to let up on a good thing. They have all kinds of chores for the population to do such as meddle with the people of Earth. Of course in that Heaven, they have to maintain various levels for each religious persuasion such as Catholic, Mormon, Christian, Buddhist, Taoists, and so on and so forth. The biggest problem they have is keeping all the different sects separated and on the correct level as none believes that the others are there... You don't think that we'd let them in Hell do you?
In heaven, you would be forced to do unending chores for the good of all if you want your white wings. Of course, one slip and everyone will know because your wings would turn a dirty gray like those of pigeons that perch on hi-rise buildings in the summer. Moreover you would have to wear white clothes, eat white McDonnell's hamburgers, white potatoes, white sauerkraut, white pork, white apple pie, and drink white milk to keep up the image. There would be absolutely no room for free thought, and to disobey an order or not believe anything they tell you would be immediate grounds for excommunication and ejection from the Holy City.
Did you know that there have been those who have, by their own volition, literally leapt from the Pearly Gates in a last act of depression? Of course, we always catch those "late bloomers" before they fall into Jehovah's Lake of Fire, and after a bit of counseling, they are given a a job, a new suit, a credit card and admittance into Hell. You can find them working in casinos, bars and sometimes even in whorehouses and liquor stores. Oh, that's their choice not our ours, they just want to get caught up.
Actually, Satanists create their own hereafter and become their own Savior. It's all a part of the process of becoming, and each Satanist in time will create his/her own "Safe Harbor" somewhere out on the Astral Planes for their own purposes. Of course, if you would rather live out eternity under the scrutiny of some sycophant taskmaster, then be our guest and take the right hand path.
What is the "Left Hand Path?" The left hand path is the opposite of the right hand path. The right hand path is the traditional path followed by the devout, the pompous, and the uninformed. It leads to Jehovah's great theme park in the sky... The left hand path is for those who have awakened with a start and are getting the hell out of there as fast as they can. The left hand path travels in the other direction. The left hand path travels in a counter-clockwise direction or left hand direction. "Widdershins" is another more archaic name for the left hand path or direction.
If Christians are the good guys, and Satanists are the bad guys, how come the Christian Church killed so many people over the last age? I assume you allude to the assaults of the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition and the sad affairs of the Witches, Cathars, Mameluks, etc. Well, it seems that there was a great mix-up, and the bad guys won. It had something to do with treachery and politics as I understand. However, no one, including the F.B.I. has ever shown or proven that Satan has ever killed anyone. Neither has it been proven that Satanists kill anything as a part of their religion or rituals. That is a Christian myth-- It's just another day and more of it.
It seems that Satanists are more tolerant. Is it true? Of course we are. Satanists are not expected to be perfect, and it's no sin to enjoy life, have money and enjoy fulfilling relationships. We don't hide from our God, instead, we bring Him along for the ride.
Do Satanists have regular meetings? Not unless they want to get together for their own reasons. Satan isn't broke. Satanism is a solitary religion where most practitioners prefer private rituals to gaudy, public affairs. More success can be achieved with two or three people of like mind and heart than 500 who are all heading different ways at once.
I think that you are despicable people, and that you should be ashamed of yourselves. Satan is glad that you are thinking of Him, because He is thinking of you.
It is said that Jesus died for my sins. What has Satan done for me? Satan, my dear, has not insulted your intelligence by even considering such an ineffectual and ecologically unsound act. It is said that ancient documents recently translated, allude to the fact that Jesus didn't either. Of course, if you really believe that Jesus did choose to die for you instead of running off with Mary M. for a lifetime of bliss, then I have a a neat toll bridge that I'll sell you cheap. Did you ever notice how fast an old god dries up when a new one is sold to the public? Jehovah was far too much trouble to fool with, so today, only a few hanger's on even remember his name.
Do Satanists do drugs? NO. Most practicing Satanists are also Black Magicians or Wizards of one level or another. Obviously, it is not wise to fool around with the gross and elemental powers of the universe while on a bum trip or fuzzy in the head. Satanists need total control of every thought and action when at risk and cannot condone the limiting effects of drugs, or for that matter, even alcohol. Focus, Intent and Will are adversely affected by substance abuse and are therefore avoided.
If you had it all to do over again, wouldn't you rather be a Christian? NO. I am a child of the Black Rose, and for me, there is only one family. Satan is my Father, and I'm quite happy with my arrangements.
How can I find out if Satanism is for me? If it really matters to you, and you really want to know, then you have but to ask. In the dark of night, and with a open mind, say out-loud and really mean it, "Satan, I want the truth." Now, don't expect a burning bush experience, but over a period of time, events will transpire and chance meetings will occur so that one day, you will realize that the truth has been there all along. Of course, you will be as a judge, compiling many pieces of information and experience into a whole. When the process is complete, you will then have to weigh the facts and make an informed decision.
IS IT OK TO LIKE ROUGH SEX WITH A LOT OF MEN? Yes. You are truly a favored child of Satan, and He has blessed you with a proclivity for enjoyment and happiness. Satan does not limit His children. Neither does He condemn them for pursuing their natural bents. Feel no guilt, for you are a very special person through which our Lord, Satan, no doubt bestows great reward upon his chosen workers of darkness. Consider yourself the Satanic equivalent of the Virgin Mary, and know that you were placed here to bring balance and blessed release to the many.
Goest thou forth amongst men and bringeth delight and fulfillment in the name of Lord Satan. Burneth thine holy, dark candle at both ends in pursuit of your satisfaction and heart's delight. Yes, do it in the name of Satan with increased vigor and purpose. Let not one opportunity be missed to bestow the dark blessings of our Lord among men in all their diversity.
Close thine ears to the words of contempt and retribution of the opposition as they are nothing and will come to nothing. Their days are ended and their power is no more. There is a new day and a new light. The Dark Sun shines brightly and you are a holder of the flame of darkness. Let not the holy fire be quenched!
