Now that you've opened all the boxes in your mental attic and brought everything to light, transferring everything possible to your journal, you'll probably find certain aspects of your life that still disturb you. Most bad memories have, by the simple act of looking at them, blown away on the wind, and can no longer hurt you, for you have faced them and spit in their eye. However, the exposure to certain other unpleasant memories has probably left you unsettled. You are no different than most people who have glossed over certain past events, rattling your sabers at them in hopes they would go away. Most did. However, now you must deal with those that didn't.
The next step is a real kicker. As always, you must do it all by yourself, accomplishing the feat alone, uninterrupted. Sitting alone atop a lonely mountain with the wind in your hair is traditional, but any quiet place where you will be undisturbed will do. Yes, we are talking about reflection. Not only are we talking about reflection, we are talking about total remembrance. Not only are we talking about total and complete remembrance, we are talking about an absolute gleaning of your memories. In olden times, after a field was harvested, the gleaners passed through, picking up any grain that had fallen or was missed by the pickers. The gleaners were hungry, and missed little. Be a better gleaner and miss nothing!
We are talking about sitting down and forcing all memories to the surface, no matter how painful. Even the memory of Uncle Harry taking you into the closet when you were a kid must hit the sunshine. Even if was you who took Uncle Harry into the closet, recount it anyway. Every candy bar you ever stole must be reviewed as well as every positive deed. Do not bypass the positive memories either, as they must be carefully examined as painful or hurtful experiences tend to hide within their folds. Begin turning the pages of your life backwards from today until you feel the slap of the doctor's hand at birth. Travel further if you can.
Remember, don't leave anything out of your examination as there might be a pin cushion hidden within a pillow, and you might just sit on it. This process is for your benefit only. No one else need ever know anything about your fables and follies. They are yours, and you must deal with them. You are responsible for your own actions, and you must act in your own best interest, ridding yourself of all dead weight. Most adepts find that they have done more right than wrong. The suffering incurred by most brothers and sisters, far outweighs their mistakes. Here is wisdom; the purpose of your personal recounting is to place your mental "Feet" on solid ground, understanding that everything has a price, and you have pay it. The object here is ending up owing nothing to anyone and restoring your soul to balance.
The result of all this mental thrashing around will be a near spotless mental environment as most of the junk memories are now transferred out of your mind and written in your journal. Now once your memories are transferred to your journal, there is no further use or purpose in remembering them. So, let them go. The floor of your mental attic should be fairly clear by now, but once you are down to the most pertinent items, the ones you really have to deal with, you have a little accounting to do.
As with any other asset and liability sheet, apply your own positive actions that you have done to the left column, and list your mistakes on the right. When you have done a full and honest recounting to the best of your ability, add up both columns, subtract the lesser from the greater, and you will have your true disposition. Most of the time, brothers find themselves on the asset side of the page. Should you find otherwise, see lesson one, hit the street, find those worse off than yourself, then bring your sheet into balance by your own hand. You'll know when you've done it right. Just don't get silly about it.
Do you have a debt you can't pay? Then send a letter of apology, explaining
the circumstances and asking the lender to forgive the debt. If you wish, send
them a penny on the dollar. If the lender won't forgive the debt, then it is his
problem. It is better not to lend or borrow as a loan is only a gift with strings
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attached, and the lender knew the risk when he made the loan. Mark the debt
paid in your journal. You have done all that you could. Do you feel guilty at
leaving a close friend and moving on with your life? Consider that the other
person has no right to control you anyway. They can't even control
themselves, how can they hope to control another? That amounts to slavery,
and slavery is illegal. There is no apology needed. When it is time to go, it is
time to go!
By the way, letters of apology do not need to carry a return address or even come from the town in which you currently reside. The point is that you are doing something positive to settle a matter in your own mind. Did you steal a candy bar? Give a candy bar. Did you take a life? Save a life. Do not forget that helping a stranger in need will settle many debts, and they do not even need to be of like substance. Balance is the key. As you deal with each and every memory both good and bad, right or wrong, mark its disposition next to it in your journal. When you pay a debt, mark it "Paid in full". When you settle a score, mark it "Settled". And when you have done all you could to set things right, mark that item "Canceled". So it is written, so it shall be! Out of mind, in the book, close the book. You have made an honest effort to settle your life, and the rest of the world will just have to live with it. Declare bankruptcy if you must, but clear out your mind and start fresh.
Once you have brought all of your life up to date and have figured out just what has happened, you may deal with the rest of your life on a day-to-day basis. You'll keep your journal up-to-date and have a running total of your whole-self balance sheet. You will have discovered your strengths and weaknesses and will be better able to deal with them in the future. That is the whole point. The object here is to be mentally bullet proof. The opposition will hate you, but oh well.
Adepts don't kid themselves or anyone else. That is why we say that a brother or sister is neither good nor evil. No one is either all positive or all negative. There is a little negative in the best of us, and a little positive in the worst of us. Anyone who claims to be pure as the driven show is a liar. It's as simple as that. Here is wisdom: do not set impossible goals, for only a fool would cast himself into an impossible role. It is better to remain centered and balanced, answering to the call of reason being neither good nor evil and satisfied with that outcome. However, Adepts have to live with themselves and have an interest in growing spiritually. Therefore, they tend to consider their actions and their effects on themselves, others, and society as a whole. Maintaining their whole-self balance sheet on the asset side becomes second nature, and they become stronger with each passing day. So will you!
Resting the mind and receiving illumination. For ten minutes each morning upon rising, and ten minutes before retiring, at night, practice the Rest of Light. Ask the Force that light and understanding be granted you this day. Then, after waiting for your answer, you may ask for more specific understanding or revelation. Here is one of the best ways to chip away at problems and seek answers. Asking only takes a moment. Then, use the quiet time following to listen for your answers. Spend more time listening than asking. What purpose to ask for an answer and then not listen for it? This is the first and perhaps the most important exercise for receiving the Gnosis. Few can hold on for 10 minutes. Most drift off to sleep long before. Naturally, the best way to deal with it is to build up to it slowly. Keep on increasing your ability to focus a few seconds at a time until success is your. Not only will this exercise increase your probability of receiving Gnosis, but it will strengthen your ability to concentrate and execute a forced listening. The most difficult aspect of this is hovering on the verge of consciousness and oblivion without expending effort. It's something like having a dream and being able to consciously interact with it and remember it. Mental juggling is something you have to work up to in easy stages.
This little ten minute period has another value: often, when we sleep our spirit leaves our physical bodies to travel about on its own business or adventure. Have you ever wakened with a start or with a bad feeling as though you weren't put together quite right? This happens. The cause is most generally that your spirit, probably traveling faster than the speed of light sprang back into your body and missed. Often the spirit enters the body so fast that it doesn't quite align itself properly. Sometimes, it even enters upside down. This jars you awake and the resulting condition is you feel like you've been on a jag or worse. Holding still for a few moments allows the poor thing to right itself. Should you fail to give it time to recover, you'll feel off all day. If you do get up and still feel off, lie back down for a few more moments, and you'll feel better for it. In any case, before getting up and facing the day, take time to assess your mental and physical condition. Also, take inventory of your assets so that you are prepared for any eventuality. After all, there is no sense in going off half cocked.
An important aspect of the morning rest of light is that often, answers to the questions of the night before will materialize during this period. Often, it takes a while to bring something up from the depths of consciousness. Moreover, many times the subconscious mind reacts badly to the truth, and it takes time to find an acceptable method of delivery. That is why a valid answer will at times surface in symbols or metaphors or some other kind of surrealistic nonsense. When this happens, just keep on working on it. Write it down in your journal and continue trying to make sense out of it. I've had the experience where I've carried around a blur of an answer or concept for weeks, only to have it pop into focus when I least expected it to materialize.
Take the time to get acquainted with yourself. We know that sounds odd, but
few students have ever paid enough attention to their thoughts and actions to
actually have any insight into themselves. Often others know the student far
better than she knows herself. That means that they can predict how she is
going to act and react better than she can. That is why people develop what is
called a reputation. People are known by the way they conduct themselves
and handle situations as well as their skills. That is why we admonish student
brothers and sisters to monitor their thoughts and edit them before they pass
into existence. Even though an idea seems like a fine one at the time, examine
it carefully before acting upon it. Try to see if it can backfire on you, causing
pain to yourself and those around you. After all, the idea is yours, and you
may give it birth or bury it. The choice, oh creator is yours. Therefore,
consider well your words and deeds. Words are like small seeds; once cast
upon the wind, they cannot be called back. Deeds are stronger yet, for they
have a toehold in the here and now. An idea can arrive in a blink, be executed
in a flash, and take years to undo. Here is wisdom: the closer an adept draws
near to the Force, the better their ideas become.
This lesson is especially important to the serious magician as acting upon whim when performing in the circle can bring unexpected results. There is much upon the Astral planes that is not on your side. Your opposition would relish the opportunity to cream you where you stand. Another way to look at it is that you want maximum return on your magical efforts. Anything else is mediocre.
Attitudes are really mind sets. Some are bright and happy, some are cynical and some are pretty bleak. They are also habitual and can be easily improved one way or the other. There are those of us who have an attitude problem, and therefore lead miserable lives. This shows a lack of discipline and self control and is nothing to be proud of. The side effect of this aberrant condition is that such persons are inherently unhappy and make everyone around them miserable in their turn. Naturally, as time turns around, the victims tend to retaliate, and the problem is compounded. It is said that we are the sum total of all our experiences. Unfortunately, the experiences of some folks are worse than others, a lot worse. However, one of the great truths is that THOUGHTS CHANGE THINGS. You create your own environment with your thoughts. It is all in how you look at it. Realize that your happiness and the happiness of those in your circle of influence depends upon how you look at a given situation or a series of events. Here is wisdom: a mind set can develop into a life set. "The mold must first be created before an object may be cast in it." Another way to look at this truth is if you don't like the object, change the mold. Human beings are ever malleable and can be changed either from the inside or the outside. Adepts are spiritual warriors, and any warrior in order to survive must always be cognizant of his or her mental and physical condition. He or she also must always be aware of his or her assets. Should a brother or sister have an attitude problem, he or she likely won't have many assets.
Positive thoughts concerning yourself and others will produce positive results, and negative thoughts will result in just the opposite. Usually, people's thoughts are mostly about themselves and how they are being treated. Be it known to you that any negative thoughts will cause disastrous results. On the other hand, positive thoughts will bring satisfaction and happiness into your reality. Now try to expand your thinking to include others and their welfare, but do it in a very positive manner. Remember: learn to pay attention to your thoughts, for the thoughts you dwell on today will surely later manifest themselves in your own reality. You are an accident waiting to happen until you become aware of the power in your thoughts.
Your attitude is important: any task you approach or any transaction you make or any interaction you have with others in this realm or the next will most certainly be affected by your attitude and how you present yourself and your ideas. A bad attitude is like a cloud of stink, and it will follow you, permeating all you touch until you rid yourself of it. In other words should your attitude be negative, dark, evil or selfish, failure will loom upon your horizon. On the other hand, if your attitude is open, light, fair and honest, your chances of success are greatly increased. We don't say assured, because you may just have a less than perfect idea. If you do, it will become increasingly obvious.
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be lucky, enjoying the best fruits from the tree of life while others receive only the culls? The answer is that the so-called lucky ones have a lucky mind set. They have painted a great, wide, wonderful world for themselves, and they live in it. They are creators of reality, their reality. Adepts are all creators, and they begin creating their world each day, toward the end of their Rest of Light. They think over what has happened and then think about what will likely happen. Next, they engineer the best outcome possible, trying several likely possibilities until they find the one that fits best. They learn from all past experiences and consider what might well have happened if they had acted differently, for they know that each event may have several endings. The final ending depends upon how a chain of events is allowed to progress. The process is something like setting up a chain of dominoes. The falling of the final domino is affected by all of the other dominos in line before it.
Another difference between a wise man and a fool is that the wise man is consciously aware of his own attitude, and he adjusts it moment by moment. This does take practice and no small amount of self control. However, the wise man realizes that his life depends upon his ability to do this. Therefore, he has created a positive matrix or attitude and lives within its framework, never allowing himself to step over the boundary lines.
For example, something is drawing you to learn more of the Gnosis. You may be aware of your reasons or not. It doesn't matter; you are here just the same. However, it is your attitude that counts. If you have a positive attitude, and come looking for just one grain of useful knowledge, you will likely find it. On the other hand, should your attitude be sour, your attention focused upon some other problem, you will come away with nothing and will have wasted your time. Notice that the advisor's time wasn't mentioned. You can bet the advisor gained something for his or her trouble. The CBR Keys of Wisdom are filled with little gems of knowledge. No one can pick up on all of them at one sitting. That is why in a Luciferian home, the CBR Keys to Wisdom are read cover to cover over and over again, a key at a time. The children hear it from the cradle on until they begin reading it to their children.
Human beings, like other small animals, are not born with inherent wisdom and knowledge, but must be taught by their parents and peers. The frequency and severity of the lessons depend upon how good of a memory the younger develops and how fast he or she dose it...
